Monday, December 19, 2011

Have yourself a safe little Christmas...

The Archdeacon of Tonbridge forwarded this to all his clergy. I am relieved to say that he did take pains to assure us it was a spoof...

"All employees planning to dash through the snow in a one horse open sleigh, going over the fields and laughing all the way are advised that a Risk Assessment will be required addressing the safety of an open sleigh for members of the public. This assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly where there are multiple passengers.

Please note that permission must also be obtained in writing from landowners before their fields may be entered.

To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

Benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available for collection by any shepherds planning or required to watch their flocks at night. While provision has also been made for remote monitoring of flocks by CCTV cameras from a centrally heated shepherd observation hut, all users of this facility are reminded that an emergency response plan must be submitted to account for known risks to the flocks.

The angel of the Lord is additionally reminded that, prior to shining his/her glory all around, s/he must confirm that all shepherds are wearing appropriate Personal Protective Equipment to account for the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and the overwhelming effects of Glory.

Following last years well-publicised case, everyone is advised that Equal Opportunities legislation prohibits any comment with regard to the redness of any part of Mr R Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from reindeer games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence.

While it is acknowledged that gift bearing is a common practice in various parts of the world, particularly the Orient, everyone is reminded that the bearing of gifts is subject to Hospitality Guidelines and all gifts must be registered. This applies regardless of the individual, even royal personages. It is particularly noted that direct gifts of currency or gold are specifically precluded, while caution is advised regarding other common gifts such as aromatic resins that may evoke allergic reactions.

Finally, in the recent instance of the infant found tucked up in a manger without any crib for a bed, Social Services have been advised and will be arriving shortly."

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Village event in the Chronicle

It was good to see a lovely double page spread of pictures, and something on the front page too, from our Christmas event in the Chronicle . I'm not at all convinced that the rather long quote from me was actually what I said (more of a creative reconstruction of a Monday morning conversation with the reporter...) however, the tone was right - a good time was had by all. And the children looked lovely!

Know Your Neighbours will be meeting in January to discuss the plans for the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee celebrations in Seal, so we look forward to seeing you then. (Dates to follow!)

Monday, December 05, 2011

Christmas Concert Thurs 22 Dec

I've had some more details of the concert on Thursday Dec 22 at 7.30pm.

It will be given by The Cambridge Consort, a group of former Choral Scholars, now mostly professional singers. Also performing will be several professional instrumentalists, including Florence Cooke, who teaches the violin at Russell House, and Vicky Hunt, former oboist with the Philharmonia Orchestra .
The concert will be in aid of the church and Crisis at Christmas, which works with homeless people in London and in other parts of the country.

The programme will include a beautiful Bach Cantata, no. 132 and plenty of seasonal music, much of it familiar, but including some less well known. It will  be a lovely occasion, perfect for the run-up to Christmas! Previous concerts this group have given in the church have been absolutely wonderful.Tickets are available in advance from Seal General Store, or on the door. If you would like to reserve tickets in advance and pay on arrival, (cash, or cheque payable to 'Cambridge Christmas Consort') then please e mail Hannah Cooke

I hope very much to see you there.

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Village Christmas event

Thank you to everyone who worked so hard to make our Village Christmas event such a success yesterday evening. Last year we battled against snow and ice, this year it was roadworks, which made getting up to the church very difficult, but there was a good turn out, and the atmosphere was great.

Special thanks to: Linda Montgomery and the children from Seal School, who led our singing with enthusiasm and didn't seem to mind the chilly weather in their nativity costumes; John and Roz at the Five Bells who found some room at the inn for our nativity players; all those who helped at church whether getting ready for the event, manning it during the evening or packing up at the end of a long day. Thanks, of course, also to Father Christmas who helped us out so splendidly, even though it is his busy time of year...

I only managed to take one picture (I was kept busy with the children's activities in the chancel - but one child commented, with a slight air of surprise, that my colouring in was "really very good", so I was glad that I seem to have found my forte at last...) If any of you have any other pictures, send them along and I will post them here.